August 25, 2011

hello there, online journal.

so lately, i've been freaking out about the future and stuff. (as anyone who has talked to me in the last three months already knows.) everytime i do, i hear chandler bing's voice telling me to "eh, forget about the future and stuff." but no chandler, i can't forget. i have to make all these big decisions asap and absolutely no one can make them for me. this isn't like,

me: "hey guys, i've been trying to decide whether to grow out my bangs or cut them again."
guys: "hm, i've always liked you with bangs."
k great, problem solved. (this is actually another thing i've been stressing over but now is not the time :))

this is like, decide what you're doing right now because you don't have a whole lot of time left.

i mean, i'm probably going to be starting a "career" and getting married and having kids within the decade, so it'd be nice if i had some sort of idea of what i'm going to do with/for the rest of my life. and i can't just sit here on the jones family couch forever, i need to go to school. and get a job. and choose which school and what job and where to live and how to get there. i just turned 20 a couple days ago, and ALREADY i'm feeling the importance of it. i can no longer push my problems away because i'm "just a teenager" or i "still have forever to figure this out." because no, i don't have forever. i'm an adult now. like, a real adult, not just some teenager pretending to be one. i have to start doing adultish things. and you guys, those are the hardest things to do.

ahhhh okay, so here is the plan. i'm going to write a book. okay? easy enough. and while i am writing said book (which i expect you all to buy 20 copies of even if it's terrible), i'm going to track down that kid's book about bugs i wrote when i was like 7 and publish that. and during all this, i'm going to put up a blog post at least once a week to "refine" my writing skills (or something). because i am going to become a writer if it kills me.

so there, one problem solved, yeah? maybe people will love my blog so much they'll pay me to write it and then i can quit hobby lobby and do this for the rest of my life.

or maybe i'll just give up on this whole thing and become a medical assistant like justin says. he'll give me a job.

...right?

3 comments:

Dean, Andrea, Tanner, and Landon said...

I realize figuring out life is a daunting task, but try not to stress TOO much. It always seems to work out one way or another. Just pray a bunch! Love you! And I love your beautiful face with bangs or without! ;)

Beth said...

Hey, Hannah! I remember this time of life so well. I'm both jealous and feel sorry for you at the same time. It's wonderful to have your whole life ahead of you and YOU get to make the decisions, but it's also a daunting task. I know you're up for it, though. You're in our prayers as you work to make the best decisions. You'll do well and things will work out, but it doesn't happen overnight, so be patient. Love you tons!

Jean Leavitt Walker said...

Eh, I'm with Chandler.... forget about it!! JKing my dear. I love you and already am so proud of you, and you'll figure it out. I'm here to help or give you my much sought after opinion (riiigght...) whenever you want it. But a big thumbs up on the writing thing -- I'll try to find the insect story, and you should really polish up some tv scripts and figure out how you submit them to shows? Love you, mom